♥ Diary ♥

Update!

2011-06-27T00:46:00.000+08:00

Gees!! There's been a long time that i never update here~
Everything are fine, although it's a bit drop off from classes~ =P
And the worst for the month is that i lost my new phone *again* in 2 weeks time, then now change back to a cheaper phone..... ops.......

So here it is!
Days are getting better with my baby around~ :D
It just gives me a feeling of, this is my life, and that's it! It's happy, stress less, everyday what i am thinking of is what to do next, or what to eat next............ hrmmm, very lazy huh?
But........... it is also aimless.
I can never strike to the best i can do in my studies, although it's still maintained on the level (am i?), but i can never get over it.
For more or less, i am hard to concentrate on my studies because my life are too wonderful with my bape around. Which makes me fell in deeply that i will never wanna get up.
It's too nice that i forget all about my studies, haha!
Every single time being with him and his family makes me forgot about all the worries.
I know it is wrong, i should balance up my time between studies and him........ blah blah blah...........
and yeah, i tell my self, it is only for this semester.
And it is the last time for me to be like this.
For the end of this semester, he will left and off to US for his studies again.
And the powerful hardworking me will be back!! bwahahaha!! "I swear to my self!

Sometimes i will think, figuring what makes me keep hiding away from studies, classes or what ever related..........
and yeah. i think i am not happy with it........ i can't enjoy the time in classes, even if i am so concentrate on my work, i am not enjoy, at all........
I used to be so happy every time i went to classes, that i will never miss every single class.
But now, i just wish that the lecturer are sick that i can never need to go class.
Why is this happening? i always ask my self........
Life without happiness is meaningless, that's why, i couldn't find any of passion in classes now.

It's lack of something, and i know what it is.
But i know, i can never get it back.......
I thought i had let it go, but i found that i just couldn't.........
It's a seed in my heart now, a seed that reminds me how silly am i putting so much effort and heart in it.
I will never regret for what i have done, but if only there's another chance, i hope that this never happen, that i never met u guys from the beginning.
At least it won't hurt that much when you lose everything you had.
It's really pathetic......... i am so sick of my self being like this.
If only there's something to wash away all my memories, which reminds me all the time about how silly am i.

I want the old me back!
The one that can smile all the time no matter what,
the one that doesn't cares for what people think of,
the ONE, that is always full of passion on everything........
Not this one which always hide away from evil and seek for warmth from my love one.
How can i grow strong and tough enough?
I am just scared that if there's one day i will be drown deeply in my own loneliness.........
That's just freaking bad.......

Ahaha, never thought of i will speak this much for today though.
Everything will be fine!! Yeah!!!
Gudnite everyone, have a nice day though.....

《斗破苍穹》

2011-05-10T16:32:00.001+08:00

等了这么久！我终于拿到我的新电话了~:D

白色的iphone4~~XD

实在是开心到暴！导致我最近都完全沉迷于 i phone 的 apps 里~~

因为实在是有太多吸引人的玩意儿了~

不过很多人都觉得我不出一个月就会遗失我的电话=..=

真是的，用不着这么诅咒我吧@@||

我一定会好好保管的啦~~~~

呵呵，说到iphone，肯定就会想到那一大堆好玩的软件！（发明iphone的人真的很伟大:D）

而我当然也不例外，第一件事就是去App store download了一大堆有的没的apps!

其中download了一个 “爱阅读” 的apps~ 类似ebook的软件吧~

从中，我间接接触到一本玄幻小说！！

也是要在这里和大家分享的，因为实在是太太太太好看了！

已经沉迷于这本小说里几天了，无法自拔！！

在网上找了一些相关的网页，就附在下面了~ :)

对玄幻小说喜爱至极的书友不妨去看一下~~XD

作者：天蚕土豆

书名：《斗破苍穹》

阅读网页：

http://www.ranwen.com/info_1660.html

***********************************************

昨天正式开学了，要开始忙了咯~~

时间这次真的要好好安排，不能在堕落了~ 呵呵呵~~

这个星期六，宝贝就回来了！！！:D

开心！！！

Bubye holiday.

2011-05-08T12:52:00.003+08:00

It's my last day of holiday! I will gonna miss this holiday.
Tomorrow will be the 1st day for 3rd year sem 1, and it's our final year!!!
Results are okay for last sem :)
The VST editing is done, everything are stepping forward smoothly :D

Hope things will be alright later on.

Huray for my last year!

And yeah, one more week and my dear will be back! YES!!!
My time will be in so packed after that!
I can see how busy am i will be in the nex 3 month!!
Cant wait!!!!!XD

现在又多了一项了。。。

2011-04-24T16:47:00.000+08:00

你不喜欢我的家人。

AWESOMENESS

2011-04-07T13:24:00.010+08:00

Whuaaahhhhh~~~~~~~ =v= (satisfied~~~~~)

Finally i can say:" Oooolala!!!! It's HOOOLLIDAAAAAAAAAAAY!!"

Many things happens in the 1st week of my holiday~

Spend sometimes on the VST refining, then the nex will b the Birthday celebration~

Hmm, it's past, so there's no point for me to write it here.

But a Birthday greet is a must here for little ♥ Wei Shin ♥ (0330) :3

Another Birthday greet to our honorable lec Chee Seng (0403)

Who teach me alot! Thank you~~ (The sing K is great :D)

And last to the most supportive friend Jian Woei (0405)

Which i almost forget his birthday@@, hehe, paiseh~~~ :D

Oh ya, the Ching Ming Fest too~~

So after the busy 1st week~ (all the outing and celebrating)

It steps into the AWESOMENESS 2nd week~~:D

For the first thing, i finally get to watch Battle LA and HOP with Chi woon and Yok zi~:D

The 1st time i get to watch movies in my holiday~:D And wanna watch more and more good movies!!!!XD Enjoy~~~~ ♥

Then i teach my silly bro how to take bus from midvalley back to puchong~

(Somehow he never take bus before because of my mum OVERprotection........)

Phew, that is so tiring~

Another thing i feel disappointing is the Broga Hill plan delay :(

This is the 1st outing plan for holiday with Shin and Wei (Birthday celebration is not included) which i wanted and wish for so long~~~~~~ Exciting for whole day before it~

But too bad~:(

It is delay due to girls are busying for some work for exhibition tat makes them couldn't make it on the Tues~

And so because it is already delay, they plan to put it on the last week of holiday so that Cheng and Jian Woei can join~

So more and more people are joining this plan~ :)

Hmmm, which really freaks me out though~ 8/

Somethings up to my mind by then~ *smiles, shhhhhhh, m not telling anyone :)*

The Last and the BEST thing i love the most is ART JAM!!!!!

Whoots! It is really motivated! It inspire me in many ways~~:D

Im now enjoying the fun of drawing~~~ A LOT!

It actually give me a very free space to draw and with an aim! Not aimless anymore~:D

Can draw freely and fun!

My dream get full while i drawing~~

Since the time i choose DG, i said to my self, I can still draw without joining IL, and i can learn more than drawing (Animation)~

But after joining DG, i got no time, no heart, and no motivation to DRAW!

So now in this holiday, i can finally do things i want to do for so long~~:D

It is the best things i have done in this week~:) Hope fully for the rest of the holiday~:D

Cant wait to the nex weekend for Art Jam!~~XD

So on and so far, im now working on some paintings with playing colors~~:D

Here to introduce Benjamin Zhang Bin to all!! His work is AWESOME!!!

Full of colors!!!! Which i wanted to learn for so long~~:D

And now i finally got time to "invest" and learn~~~~XD

Whoots and HOORAY for all!!!!:D

Toast, to my future,

Toast, to my meaningful holiday~:D

=========================================================

It's APRIL!!!!

Means it's one month further to ur flight to come home~~~:)

Yipiiiii~~~:D

Thanks for listening me and be there for me when im down~~~ :3

I know you are so busy lately! X3

Love you bape ♥

So what?

2011-03-24T20:26:00.002+08:00

It is so pathetic.......

What the hell is everything going on?

Is it normal to be like this?

If it is, then i have nothing to say.

"This is what and how things should be. " I tell my self.

Hmmm, impressive.

See, i predicted it at first, and i was not wrong......

Everything just go back to how it should be.

********

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way

********

I know what I want and what i am doing now, this is enough for all.

尊孔之夜

2011-03-20T10:42:00.002+08:00

经过了2天2夜不吃不睡拼命的赶功课后，Concept Art终于在昨天交了上去！*鼓掌*:D

虽然老师说我们Present得很烂，哈哈！！因为我们都讲解错了方向==

不过忙碌赶功课的日子也正式告一个段落了！！XD

现在就只剩下Animation还有VST refine了~~~

万岁！！

在昨天presentation之后，就是时候回校看尊孔之夜了！！

好久没有回去学校了。

表演不错看，至于技术组……唉，算了吧，还是那个死样子。

竟然在那样的节目出差错！很难看咯！

真的很怀念以前还在做幕后人员的时候。

做后台也好，音响也罢，就是觉得如果在做的事我们的话，肯定可以做到更好！

想到我们以前8仙怎么可能会让这些问题发生呢？！

有机会的话，真的很想回去帮曾湘茗老师的忙，不是做技术组也好，就是想要参与整个制作就是了~:D

感觉就是很爽！！

看表演的时候，对表演节目总是有很多的想法，觉得节目应该要这样这样那样那样才对！

唉，几时才有这个机会把我的想法一一实现呢？

真的好怀念以前服务的时候啊！！X3

不过老师辛苦了！！看到她这么拼命，有点心疼，因为曾湘茗真的是一个很伟大的老师！！

有她才有今天的我！！:D

老师加油！！有机会我一定要回去帮你！（虽然你可能有点不屑==哈哈！）

**************

宝贝最近又在忙考试了，才刚放完假又要忙了~~

我忙final，他又忙~~~

唉~~~~~好难找到时间谈天~~~~=@=

假期快快来就最好了！XD

MODE

2011-03-15T02:24:00.003+08:00

Normal face ( without showing teeth off course)

Hungry face

Moody face

Begging face

YEEK face

Took all these photos just now during dinner with family.......

It is way too boring and i have nothing to do.......

So i took these photos to show what i am thinking now~~

Hmmm~~ All my feelings shows~:D

After the observation of my own photos, i can see that......

I THIN jor A LOT!!!! Walao!!!T..T

I hate being this thin T^T

hais........

Things going so bad now....... really don't like to be like this.......

Two weeks more!!! Sem break faster come then everything will be fine!!!

Pray hard for me...... sob sob T____T

Assignment!!!! Aza aza fighting!!!

****

Yeah, i got my ipad 2 edi lurh~~~XD but it is in US@@"" With my dear baby~~~X3

And i am going to get my iphone 4 sooner and later~~~ Yeepee~~~:3

Hope my baby faster come back~~~ 2012 is coming !! Huhu......

All the best for ALL!!!!

It's baby 20th Birthday!!:D

2011-03-07T13:30:00.006+08:00

Happy Birthday baby!!:D

*Just wake him up*

No Birthday cake from me this year =[

So sorry coz too busy about assignments and stuff~ T..T

MUACKS!! Love you ALWAYS!!!

♥♥♥

So true ♥

2011-03-01T11:59:00.002+08:00

See this from facebook, share share~~:D

女孩子并不在乎你有没有钱，她在乎的是你会不会发奋努力改变现状；

女孩子并不在乎与你生活一起会遇到困难，她在乎的是你会不会迎难而上；

女孩子并不在乎你有多浪漫，她在乎的是能不能从生活的点滴中感受到你的爱；

女孩子并不在乎你现在的境况如何，她在乎的是你能不能让她看到你们的未来 ♥

6 months

2011-03-01T10:26:00.002+08:00

Its been a long time that i never shows up here~~:D Half a year!

This mean that there's been quite a peaceful "half year" i have got that makes me being "absent" here without any words to say~:D

Let's see,

End of year 2010 and steps into year 2011~

CNY, Valentines were all passed~~

Family are still in a lot of troubles~

Move to new house~

Studies up to Year2 Sem3~

And finally, busy for ASSIGNMENTS!!

But it is quite a fully schedule i have got for this period~

Every day is fully packed~~:D

Oh ya, and it is 3 years already for our long relationship!! Hurray XD!!

But we are far aparts, and busy this time@@ there is no any special celebration for us =[

But nvm!! May is coming soon and he is coming back SOON!!!:D

Yeah!!!

Thats all for now~~ hmmm~~ wondering if theres any others things to say?

Yea, GAMBATEH for my future!!

One more year!! Then i will be freeXD!! YES!!

又来了。

2010-09-26T15:25:00.003+08:00

最近的我又来了~
每天都乖乖回家，哪里都没去~
早上起床，看书，上网，做功课，上课，放学，回家，看书，上网，做功课，睡觉。
去婆婆家住了几天，发现日子真的好无聊。
乖乖做功课，可就总是觉得缺少了什么。
或许是动力，或是一些新鲜的事吧？
功课也好无聊，没有什么让我动起来的感觉~
提不起劲儿。
时间突然多了起来~
不过这样也好~不用怕没时间了~
称赞下自己，好乖~ =D

最近有在想未来的事，要努力了~
（哈哈~不懂做不做到tim~~~）
以前常常觉得自己感觉上活了好久，现在想想，觉得好好笑~
因为发现未来其实还有好久好久哦~
还要很久，我才能出国升学~
还要很久，我才能摆脱这些枷锁~
还要很久，我才能开始把我的世界建立起来~
呼~想下想下~真的还要很久==
突然很想要一架时光机~ 不用带我去到很远的时空~ 只要2年就好~
2年后的我~应该已经在美国了~
脱离这里的一切~开始我的新生活~
嗯~听起来不错~=D
想到都觉得振奋~~
加油！努力！忽视一切不如意的事！！

宝贝也是要加油！！！未来不远了！
呼~~~~~~

怎么办？

2010-06-13T00:07:00.002+08:00

是我表现得太多，让你没有机会表现吗？
到底是为什么？

好想紧紧地抱着你，但是会怕，站着的你，脚会承受不了我抱时的重量。
好想紧紧地拥着你，但是会怕，坐着的你，好像没有反应似的，让我害怕，抱着抱着又会忍不住缩回来。
好想紧紧地牵着你，但是会怕，不是没牵过，而是牵了一下又会忍不住收回来，害怕你不喜欢，因为你并没有抓住我……
好想枕在你的肩膀，但是怕你的肩膀会累，让你辛苦，都不敢依太久。
好想靠在你的胸膛，但是你并没有张开双手撑着我，靠下去，只会掉下来。
好想躺在你的怀里，但是你肚子不舒服，躺下去你会更不舒服。

什么都只能用想的，什么都不敢，什么都怕，什么都压抑着……
我该怎么办？

不是没有主动过，而是主动后的你好像都没有什么反应。
想直接对你说：“可不可以牵我？”
但是又觉得好像在逼迫。

到底要怎么样，才能找回当初甜蜜的感觉？
到底要怎么样，你才会像从前那般的呵护我？
我想念你的温度，想念你的一切，却一切都得不到……
是我太贪心吗？
是不是渴望太多了？

我永远都学不会教训……
明明就提醒自己很多次，没有希望就不会失望。
但是我永远都学不乖，一而再再而三地把希望放在你身上……
希望有一天，你会主动过来牵我，主动过来抱抱我……
不是一下，而是永远不放开的那种。

还记得以前的我，走路时总爱把手放在你裤子后面的口袋。
因为你不会牵我。
还记得以前的我，走路时都会拦着你的腰。
因为你不会抱我。
但是现在，做回同样的事，只会觉得害怕，不敢。
我该怎么办？
在你面前，我永远都提不起自信，没有信心，一直都在猜测你的想法……
我真的真的很没安全感。
我已经尽力了。

你是否可以看见，每一次在你面前的我，其实都是在装自信，装冷静，装成熟，装没事。
因为不敢让你知道我的不安，不敢让你知道我的焦虑。
我知道我比一般人更没有安全感，更容易乱想，更容易失去信心。
所以并不敢让这些烦人的东西烦你。
害怕让你厌恶。
从一开始，就知道你不喜欢烦人的东西。
你不喜欢我摸你，不喜欢我碰你，不论是头发、脸、五官、颈、肚子、腰、手还是脚。
你不喜欢我叮咛你，不喜欢每次在你耳边唠唠叨叨。
你不喜欢我每次拿小事烦你。
你不喜欢我每次叫你帮我作决定。
你不喜欢我每次帮你作决定。
你不喜欢我每次在你面前抱怨这抱怨那。
你不喜欢我和我家人相处的方式。
你不喜欢我说话大声。
你不喜欢我每次偷拍你，更不喜欢和我拍照。
你不喜欢读华文或很多文字的东西，所以更不会看我写的东西。
你不喜欢时时刻刻和我说你的事。
你不喜欢我问题多多。
你不喜欢我每次作比较。
你不喜欢我每次装聪明。
你不喜欢我很粗鲁。
你不喜欢我逼你。
你不喜欢我猜疑你。
你不喜欢我作息不正常。
你不喜欢我驾快车。
你不喜欢我斤斤计较。

你不喜欢我什么，我很清楚。
但是如果问我你喜欢我什么。
我一个都回答不到你。
一个都没有……你要我怎么在你面前自信起来？

你说我该怎么办？我真的不知道该怎么办了……

今天该做什么呢？

2010-06-08T12:22:00.002+08:00

hmm~~~
难得把累积的功课都赶完了~
预留了唯一没上课的日子，就是今天~
本来好期待~想说好好的陪你~~
但现在……我该做些什么咧？
整天呆在家赖赖闲哦…………？

Chris他们说我变了~
这一句话我很在意~
我真的变了吗？
他说我做功课越来越没有用心~懒惰了~~
是真的吗？
问了阿欣，她也没说什么……
其实大概猜得到，你们一定都觉得因为我男朋友回来了，所以我在课业上没那么用心了~

唉~
老实说，我不是很喜欢这样的想法，因为我觉得我不是一个公私不分的人……
可能偶尔会被心情影响，但是我也会被其他东西影响啊~~
就算我男朋友没有回来~
我觉得我也会是这样~不过可能功课不用那么赶而已~时间会多一点而已~
我的功课还是一样会这么做~
还是一样会画鸡蛋人~@@"因为最容易画~
我从以前就知道，我不是那种会画很细很细的东西的人~像Chris, Ah sheng, Jian woei你们那样~
我也不懂怎么说呢……
就是我喜欢的，我会很用心很用心去做~
做到开心，满意的话~细的部分就会处理得很好~
但是如果做到很Sienz的部分~那么我就没有那么多心思去处理了~~
就像这一次Line Animation~
不是我敷衍乱乱画鸡蛋人~
而是那两本小本的真的话倒很不舒服咧~
手不懂放哪里画，又不能用light box trace~ 眼睛看那么小有很累~
让我很没有心去画它~ 做不到你们那么厉害~
但是大张的~我自认做到很开心~真的一画就停不了手的那种咯~

还有机器人……我……只能说我会让自己爱上你的！！
不想解释那么多了~

唉~~看一看想一想~上面解释的又有点像借口~~可是那也是事实阿~
现在唯有让时间证明一切了~~~

再来，
有时候很想知道你心里在想什么？
是不是和我一样？
面对你时的各种心情与感觉~ 好的坏的~
你是否也一样？？面对我时也会这么挣扎、恍惚不安？
不知道你是把所有心情都藏了起来，还是其实你根本就没有这些心情？？
好想问你~~却怕问出口后得到的答案~
想问你是否也一样的想我？就如我想你那般……？

有时候真的只想静静的和你呆在同一个空间~各做各的事情也好~
偶尔抬眼看一下对方~却什么都不必说~
这样也很美好阿~
不一定要出去走街~不一定要去看戏~
就这么和你膩在一起~也很幸福~~
吾爱。

总结一个字——怕……

2010-05-24T09:17:00.002+08:00

你回来了，让我变得更加胆小……
我很怕……也不懂怕什么……
想用力抱你，可又怕……
想对你说些什么，又是怕……
怕一切回不到以前那样，怕人变了，感情也变了……
受伤的你，感觉如此憔悴……
感觉如果我一用力，就会碎一样……
对，就是碎。
让我好怕好怕。
好怕感情太过度让你逃避，也怕自己会吓到你……
更怕向你要求更多，感觉好像很浪费你时间一样……
但是却又很贪心……
这几天根本没有心情做功课……
功课其实不多，就是没有心情……
一直拖一直拖……
我发现，在这关系里，我把自己看得很低，就怕看得太高，会让你生厌……
唉……我该怎么办？
之前你在读书，远在国外，我一直都不敢拿自己的东西烦你……
养成了什么事都把自己摆在最后的习惯……
你不在的这些日子，我已经习惯了不敢再去向你要求些什么……
但现在你回来了……
我要继续这样吗？还是可以要求更多？
但是短短2个月……
要求更多的话，离别时怎么办？
想了好多好多，还是不知该怎么办，更不知该如何告诉你……
烦啊……
我想我真的馅得很深了……完蛋……

你回来了！！！

2010-05-22T11:25:00.002+08:00

哇塞！！心情好复杂啊！！！！我要呐喊！！我要痛哭！！
我不知道该如何形容我的感觉……
总结来说就是笨透了！竟然搞出这种乌龙！
好蠢……

然后那种死人性格又跑出来……再加上那些死人讲的话……
要气死了！！><
怎么一个好好的日子会变成这样啊……
好复杂好复杂！！

唉……你一定很失望吧？没有去到机场接你……
我每一次只要一紧张，就会装镇定，装到很冷静那种，然后就会让人觉得很串了><
希望你家人没有误会我是坏女孩拉==……
要死了！！！！

谢谢阿欣……><

想到昨晚……我看我还是撞墙死掉算了！！><

搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……
搞砸了……

Why ar?

2010-04-21T01:54:00.002+08:00

hmmmm~ somthing weird happens around me~

i m now working in steamboat restaurant with ah yew and jia sheng~

I can feel the differences of how my friend treat me......

tats y i can feel tat ah yew treat me differently then b4..........

(ah yew is a very very best friend of mine n my so called boyfriend)

not to say think too much la~

b4 he nvr talk to me like this~ he wun make fun of me with this serious topic~(love thingy)

but now he did~ tats y i know tat he is not joking~ just tat he is telling out sumthing he nt dare to tell through joking way~

okay~ so thing is like this~

since we start working together~ we are getting closer~

sumtime he will ask me m i available (since i nvr occasionally show tat i m nt availeble infront of my highschool friend~)

he also ask me wat is the realationship between me n siow~

off course~ i wouldnt tell out the truth~

coz i m waiting siow to confess it out instead of telling out myself~ (I got my own persistent)

but i wouldnt tell out the lies as well~ so i din give him the answer~ just says tat maybe yes maybe not~

to make the conversation not tat stiff~ i try to make fun with him~

so i ask him y he ask me sumthing like this~ and ask him izzit he wan to "kao" me?(we used to make fun like this b4~ n the answer they always say is "choy! impossible la!")

but no! he say "y? cannot meh?"

i stun thr n say tat "aiyo dun make fun of me la~~haha~" (trying to laugh silly to bring away this topic)

wat i m thinking is omg==

we are best friend leh== i really treat him as a very gud friend~

i dunno m i too sensative or wat?

after tat topic~ he always sms me in the morning or nite~(he nvr did this b4)

i was really alert here~

n sumtime within our sms, like just now~ he will say he couldnt sleep becoz missing sumone~

then whn i ask who is the lucky one~ he will say u n siow la~

he miss siow he a very normal thing~ but me! hor!!><>

haha n silly laugh to bring over the topic again==.............

so back to another topic~

i tell this to siow~ my lovely so call lover which haven really make known to the public(our high school friend)

and he was like nth............==||

i ask him do u ever care tat ur best friend maybe fall in luv in ur so call girlfriend?

i ask tat will you "hap chou"~

and so he tell me actually he didnt........

he say dunno y, he just belive tat his friend wun do tat~~

haiz..............so should i concern abt this problem tat he dun even care tat sumone is (maybe) liking me?

i dunno should i angry sad or happy.................

erhhhhh.................. so i ask him...........

will he bother if i dun contact him for 3 days?

he says off course~ he say he will miss me like hell n worried abt me~

hmmmm~~~ i should be happy when i see this~

but no! i m not happy! at all............... y?

becoz i dun believe in it..............==

sad isnt it?

i m really really really lack of confident on him..................

i m lack of "an quan gan"...............

i dunno whn he say is true when is fake...........

i know sumtimes he will say sumthing just to make me happy............

but i dunno whther izzit true or it is just to make me happy??

women are hard to please............. especially me............haiz..............

i dun like to doubt people............. but i m doubting.............

hate it................

so when can u really really confess our relation ship to the public??

this is the oni way i think for so long which can increase my "an quan gan" now..........

i dunno whether it works or not.........but should i try?

haiz...............

by the way............he is freaking unhealthy now><.........

i m a very bad girlfriend......... i shoudlnt boder him with this kind of stupid question while he is recovering slow.......==

but.......... this is the only time tat he can really free n slow down to listen to me.........==

friendly speaking~ i dun dare to bother him since he is studying so hard in out state~

busy for scolarship and money.............

i dunwan to distract him...... tats y it is really hard to find time to talk with him...........

we rarely hav deep conversation...............

so now sinces he nid to rest~ he got plenty of time staying on the bed doing nth~(actually there are many a lot a bunch a huge amount of assignment waiting for him to do n study since he has not been to school for many days because of the surgery...........)

but he nid rest~ so i think tat maybe its time to talk abt our problem right?

maybe he got time to talk and chat with me right?? (persuading my self tat i did nt do wrong@@)

haiz......................

FAN AR!!!

haiz..............k la~~ go sleep la useless hoi yee sum==

gudnite la sei alvin siow wei shiong............. fu sam hon==...........

scold u gao gao here la== u also dunno one......=P.......haiz.............

bad guy!!

always effect me==.......................

muacks!

luv u sei ye!!!

I hav nth to say.........T..T

2010-04-19T22:49:00.002+08:00

Pain!!!

2010-04-18T01:59:00.002+08:00

Work as promoter last last last week (forgot which week le) with ah shin in Giant kelana jaya~~

Quite new experience~~^^ but very tired!!@@ leg pain dao hell~~

Then we always eat in ah wei's daddy hawker store~^^ Gud!!! nice to eat n nice to pay too~~haha~~~^^

Then now i work as a waitress in a steamboat store with jia sheng and ah yew~~

Frm 5pm till 12pm~~ Very tired~ but time flew~~^^

many work to do too~~ so wont feel boring~~^^

But i think i will never eat steamboat anymore after this work==

Too bad i m now in a very unhealthy mood==

Headache, period pain, sore throat, leg pain............==

The most sad thing!!

My love one's leg broke!!

I m very very worried.........but i can do nth to help>

He went into operation yesterday........... N yet it was god damn pain after surgery>

T..T my heart really broke into pieces when i hear his no-energy voices............

What can i do to help?

If oni i can share all the pain u have got!!!!

Ur leg is very important..........T..T

haiz......... so pain........pain in my heart..............

i cant stop thinking abt u every nite i b4 i sleep............

think abt ur leg.......... think abt the pain u suffer......... i just couldnt help to fall into the sadness deep beneath my heart..........

Hope you can recover soon............T..T

Be strong as u were!!

Muacks!!! LOVE YOU n MISS U very very much!!!

What happened?

2010-03-22T04:19:00.002+08:00

今天好像很多东西发生酱呢……虽然和我没有太大关系啦@@

jj n heng zi 的，soon lim and ah beng的……

全部情侣一夕之间大转变……希望一切好转咯~

至于你……为什么会这样呢？为什么突然会和你吵架？@@

我也不知是怎么开始的……

你和我说你要换朋友了……因为他们已经不再是当初和你要好的朋友了……

而我就问你那班朋友包括谁……

说说下……你就生气了……

是我问太多吗？还是因为我说错了什么？

你的确是住在他们其中一人的家啊……

你却说你住得她是她，她们是他们……说到很生气的样子……

本来还有很多问题的……都不敢问了……

你说，算了，反正你也帮不上忙……

我也就说，是咯……因为我确实也帮不上忙……

但是我其实有很多疑问呢……比如以后见到面怎么样，突然绝交，好像会得罪很多人……得罪人的话不好吧……身在别人的地方……感觉很危险……

但是全部都问不出呢……

因为你好像很生气的样子……

可能是怕吧……所以就什么都不敢问了……毕竟今天好像是很不利的日子呢……

结果你和我说你只是想和我分享……（是我要他和我分享身边的事的）

我听到这时，真的不知该怎么办好了……

我做错了吗？我是不是不应该问你那么多东西让你那么不耐烦？让你以后应该也不敢和我分享你的事了……你一定不会和我分享了……因为我帮不上忙……我做不到静静的聆听……

以前你在这的时候，我还做到静静的聆听，因为你看得到我，知道我在专心的听……

可是现在，我不敢，因为你可能会觉得我没有再听，并且觉得我在敷衍你……

所以为了表现我有在听，我都会表达我的意见阿……结果却搞得你不耐烦了……

我不知该怎么办呢……

我想要你和我分享，却不知该如何回复你阿……

好烦……所以最后也就草草结束我们的对话了……

你一定很生气……

本来想说开webcam看看你……

可是你不要……我也就烦了……

你说你要专心做功课……好吧……那就酱咯……

谁知又让你生气了……==

为了不让你在继续生气……我真的不敢再多说些什么……

唯一能做的，就是让你知道我没有不开心，没有事情，我又生气，心情平稳，让你不要为我担心……这样你才会放心……

但是，这么做，好像会让你更担心后？

但是那时的我想不到那么多吧……真的好烦……

我不懂我要怎么办……真的不知道……

怕惹你生气……但是有又很矛盾……让你越来越气……

呵呵……我总是这样后？

好烦好烦……

今天真是不吉利阿……全部情侣好像都出问题似的……

晚安啦……

祝一切安好……阿门

对了……忘了答应你不随便说爱（虽然我不觉得随便）……

那么好吧，就没有我爱你做结尾了……

我想你总可以吧？

Miss U much..............

Busy week...

2010-03-04T16:24:00.005+08:00

This week is so god damn busy!!><

almost all the final ends here....

summore this sunday i m going to paris edi><

haven prepare anything yet!

So tired n exhausted..............T..T

Drama end.

Perspective still a long way to go.

Life drawing still gt 2 to 3 classes.

Visual com end but assignment r still moving on.

Culture n society will end this week! but i haven touch any of it yet....prepare to die!!

Aiks~~!!

This sunday is my dear BIRTHDAY le!! 19th years old birthday........

but because off all this busy assignment........

i couldnt prepare any present for him............. so sorry.................

Summore i m flying to paris at nite for 12 hours.....

i cant even call him to greet him on time........T..T

so so so sorry nia.........

i swear i will give u present after tat!

Muacks!!

Luv u dear!!! n HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

relationship status..........@@

2010-02-20T10:51:00.002+08:00

OMG!! new post again==............y is there so many things happen==.........
barely update my blog within couple of days.............

the time i see ur relationship status........
it really tackle me...T..T
haiz~~ y is it single again in ur status??
i rather u put nth than single..........
sumtimes i really dun understand.........
haiz~~

the 1st time u tackle me is when the time u change ur status into "engage with xxxxx".........
i was like wow@@!! when on earth u engage with others??
then u told me tat its just making fun within friends........
then ok~ i accept it~

then u change back to single~
i feel okay then~ single is better than engage right?

so then when u hide ur relationship status later~
i was like wooohoooo~~XD
at least u r not declaring tat u r single~ means there is still possibility of being not available~

although i dunno y u nvr declare our relationship (coz we always don't??)~@@
the reason i give to myself base on how i know u, is tat maybe u scare tat u couldnt make it to our relationship so tat u dunwan to give any promisses at 1st........@@ (is it??)
this is wat i told my self......n i really BELIEVED in it........

but when i see u change back ur relationship status into single==.........
i was like@@ y is it single again...............??
did i do anything bad?? (yeap, i did......T..T)
or u already fed up with me??again@@??

aiks...........i know i m thinking way too much coz the stupid relationship status thing is oni a little bit of matter to u........ermm........ok..........it is not a matter to u==...........
so.....okay...........i admit, i m just speaking nonsense here..........==
just some thought inside my heart n i just shout it outs without thinking with my brain@@
haiz...........
this is wat a girl do when they really blind of love...............T..T
>women are hard to please? yeah............i always know tat.........
but i just cant help with this==..........
aiks~~ just let me shout out over here~ and everything will be fine after all~
the way of shouting out loud will let me feeling better............
maucks~~♥ luv u ♥

yeah.............i m so stupid...........

2010-02-19T11:46:00.002+08:00

i m so sorry babe..........
sorry to disappoint u again n again.........
n i always take advantages from u..........
my bad to always make u worried...... and make u so sick off hearing my excuses.........
i m really really sorry.......... no doubt....... sorry can change nth........
but it is to show how regret m i to hurt u so much.........

yeah.....i m so stupid.........
n i finally understand wat u wan me to do to change.................
so sorry>< sorry to make u so sad n angry of me..........T..T
i know theres nth can do to make u believe me again as i always disappoint u..........
but i will try my best!!
thx for always care abt me...........and always there for me...........
muacks!! i love u as i always do~~~~
i will take care my self~~
no worries anymore~

everyone did bad things.........so do i...........
i admit i m careless...........i always do.........
but i will try.........ok?
plssss.......dun give me up?
i really scare.............
everytime when i disappoint u...........i really scare..........
no.........not scare.....is fear..........fear of losing u............
coz i always make u sad..........and even make u sick off talking to me..........
i dunwan to be a burden..........

actually............
i always refuse to grow up..........infront of u.........
i can be a gud leader in a group, i can be a gud student in a class, i can be as gud as i can......
but i cant be a grown up infront of u.......
coz i always want u to be there to protect me...........i thought tat i can be as a child as i can be when i m with u.........when i nid care, and when i m hurt.................
i like the way when u protect me, when u cheer me up if i m upset with all those things............n i like to rely all my things on u..........
this is wat i thought.........tats y i always show the weakness face on u.........
but all these have become a burden of you.............and tats not wat i wan..........
u always wan me to learn.........to grow up............n i refuse to hear tat.............
sorry.........
and now its really time to grown up right............?
it needs time indeed..........
will u be there? waiting for me.....................

love u as i always do............

title?? empty la== lazy think==

2010-02-11T22:02:00.005+08:00

wow@@ 2 months no update le~
actually quite a lot of things happen~
but its almost pass~ so there is nth special to talk about all la~

About this sem~~
what i can say is FULLFILLED!!!
work seems easy to do~ but its hard to do the thinking part~
concept needed to be fully done and come out by all the brain storming!!
i really satisfied with all this "疲惫轰炸！"
haha~ so now i m really really tired !! exhausted!!==||

The favourite subject i like the most this sem is DRAMA class!!!XD
it really give me a chance to "show off" (@@??)
haha~~ i like acting~~XD it really challenge me~~
and i enjoy the time when i think about the execute n story line things~^^
it helps my brain to twist and turn around~^^
although my acting are not tat gud coz all the self-conciousness thing~
but i think i m quite talented in others part as i have a bit experience in my precious high school~~^^m i??
i like to learn and fully use wat ive learnt~
wahahha~~ i m really proud of my self~^^

So~ on the other hand~ i m quite happy that the relationship between me and my friends from previous class are not fading out@@
phew~~ we are still quite close as we can have lunch together all the time~^^
especially ah shin la~~ i can feel tat our friend ship is getting closer n closer~haha~~
happy dao~~XD
coz its really hard to find somone tat can tahan me edi@@haha~

But then, talk about the bad part...........
things are getting weird........
i really scare things tat always change between us~
i m so worried about a lot of things tat i can do nth abt it@@
ah shin la, jing la, wei n datong la, hao shen la, jj them all la...............i can barely feel tat sumthings happen in you guys.........
although i know nth, but yet i can still feel the weirdness of it@@
the only thing i can do now is open one eye and close another..........
hope things can turn back into wat they used to be@@

So after all the class and friend things, now lets talk about family thing..........
Its really shit when i knew tat..............
wat a small world>i still cant believe it....................
i cant really says out wat happen here..............
but it really pissed me off.............
Its so humiliate! how can this happen on me??!
i cant stand it! really!
some may think tat i m too over reacting on this, but i can oni says tat u will never understand when its not happen on you!
你在其他地方怎么样都好，我都不会管，我只需管好我自己，你也只需尽好你的责任……
但为什么会牵涉到我身边的人？
还是有直接接触的那种！！！我真的很难接受！你要我如何去面对我的朋友？！
啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！
......
......
......

phew..................ok............back to the topic...............
on the other hand........ me and my sister car are coming by tomoro..........
i tot i will be very excited as this is my very 1st car@@
but no..........its not.............i yet feel empty.............
i think i m just too greedy on this................
haiz~~~

then talk about another thing............ Chinese New Year is coming!!!!
for god saken............i dun really like this event at all!!!
coz things has already changed!!!!!!!!
Chinese New Year for me are no longer any special days as there are nth to be happy about.............
but yet, this year i m going to Bali with my family again..........
i dun really wan to join them at first...........
as i also had my very 1st lonely, busy working, chinese new year last year...........
coz i know there are just quarel n quarel in the trip after all..........
but what really attracted me to join this trip is wat my sister says.........

For the very 1st time my sister wan me to accompany her to do something tat she have never ever wanted to do b4!!! (tied all our hair in to braid, and tattoos on our body!!)
hell YES!! its very hard to hear my sis to ask me to accompany her!!!
she doesnt need me in all the time whenever i think she needs.......
but for this time!! she ask me to accompany her@@ wow.....WOW!!!
it really surprise me........!!!!
and this really make me so happy tat i think tat there are still a little hope between me with my family............
as all my friend know, tat there is always a gap between us, no matter which member in my family..............
so i think that...............
maybe, i wun be tat disappointed as i always do, right?
maybe this trip are different then b4?
hope so la@@
so the conclusion is i m going to a bali trip(again) with my family this chinese new year..........
I M INSANE i think@@ to make this decision.................

Okay then, finish abt classes, friends, family............and now its time to talk about my dearest baby..........................
Time flies!!!
for 3 more days, the 3rd valentine between us are coming............
this means tat we r going to step in to a 3 years relationship@@
and it also means that after 4 days, u will step into the 1st year time of living in US!!!
YOU have already been to US for 1 YEARS!!!
time flies u know??!!
i have already lived here alone for 1 years n 365 days that breathing the air without you........... what can i say??
i have past through a hard time that i miss u so much in every little single seconds and i really cant believe tat u have gone for a years..............
for every special day, i have to over come the loneliness of living without you..........
graduation nite, my birthday, christmas, new year............
and now valentine and chinese new year are coming too...............
these special days are no longer that meaningful as u r nt here with me............
but though i still need to continue my path and life..........
i can over come everything, every little missing and thinking about you.......
i can have a very fun time spending with my friends...........
but yet, its always there, the little loneliness that has taken over my heart whenever and wherever i m alone............when i m thinking about you...........
sometimes i might disappoint you but please do believe that i have no harm........

i dont know how to explain my complicated thinking and feelings.............
i just wanted to let u know how much u r important to me...........
but this doesnt mean tat i cant live happily as i always do...........
so no need worries....^^
i will still be good~
as good as the time u r with me~^^

And for the very good news that really brighten up my heart~!!!
that is YOU are coming back on the 19th MAY!!!XD
i m so happy to hear tat!!!! OMG!!!
i just cant wait till tat time><

hahahhahaha~~
i will ve very miss you!!XD
Thousand words are no longer enough to bring out what i wanna to tell you.....
The only thing i can say is that I LOVE YOU!! you are my beloved one~~
Muacks!!!!
LOVE YOU ALWAYS HUN!!!!>3<

New Year Welcome 2010!!!

2010-01-13T02:30:00.002+08:00

wow~XD its NEW YEAR already~ time pass so fast as we didnt even realize it~~
hmmmm~~ lets talk abt lately~

i m now a DG (digital animation) student~^^
as now we r still in the foundation class~~ work load are not tat heavy yet~^^
i can still do wat i wan without planning time~haha~
n things are still in the way that it should be lar~@@ means i can still handle it~^^

so talk abt activities~
wat we r now more concern abt is the PROM NITE~!
that we r still haven prepared the suit we r going to wear~
haha~ though oni few of us r going to attend it~
then following will be chinese new year n valentine days~~^^
and also start to plan wat m i suppose to do in the nex sem break~~XD
(too fast huh?? we r still just in the beginning of the sem~ n i already thinking abt the sem break~~XDhahah~~ i always jump too fast in my thinking~=D )

then~ talk abt my new class~DG0905-2~
hmmm~~ its cool since i m still with my dear old gang~~XD
we r still having fun in classes~
n though we gt new member in the class as we dunno them@@
but already half of our class r come from my pre-class~
so theres no such thing call "ice-breaking" within us~
just tat still trying to make new friends with others lor~
they seems way too quite though@@
and we r still keep in touch with those who went to other classes~XD
tats wat i really appreciate~haha~~

and abt our lecturer~ wat can i say is AWESOME~XD
all the class r PERFECT!! there is no such class tat i really dun like it~^^
so this will be a very gud beginning for this year~^^

after all the class thing~^^ its time to talk abt my babe~^^
i still cant believe that the time has gone so fast~!!
tat he has already gone to USA for abt a year@@
(he went there on 15th February 2009~ one more month then he are there for a year@@)
hope that time can go faster as we can meet earlier~~XDhaha~
and theres a gud news~~XD
tat he is coming back on MAY or JUNE~XD
haha~~ so excited to hear tat~~^^
coz i doesnt aspect he will come back after a year~^^
i thought he will be back maybe once within three years coz the price of air ticket is very expensive@@
but NO!~~XD
he is COMING BACK on few months later~~XD
bwahahahhaha~~
its so GUD to hear this!!!
luv u so much!!!XD haha~~

ohya~~ aiks~~ where is my 18th birthday present T..T
i thought u say u will give me after ur exam...................==
i wait n wait n wait though@@ still waiting==..............
others forgot then nvm...........as they dunno the impotant of it@@
but u wun right??
u know tat a 18th birthday is really really important to me right@@??
u know i actually treat my 18th birthday a very special day right??
i dun aspect others to treat me well as wat i treat them..........
but i cant really use this kind of mindset on u@@ coz u r my dearest honey T..T
if u also dun understand me.....then who will?? even my family wun..................
so~~ i m still here giving hign aspectation on u~~^^
the dateline will be the day b4 u go back US lor~
muacks~~XD
luv u wor~~^^

*dear~~ although i dunno whether u will see this or nt lar== coz i din tell u i have this blog@@ that oni my TOA friend know this blog==...................aiks~~~~

Bye bye again............

2009-12-13T21:30:00.003+08:00

Many things happen lately@@
My birthday past~ thx guys~^^
especially ric lar~^^
san fu sai~^^
thx for wat u did ar~^^haha~~

Then its abt my poor headT..T
injured accidentallyT..T
pain><
thx to ah sin here~^^
thx for being there for all the way long~^^
thx to ric, sheng and jing also~^^ thx for concern~^^

And its the time to say bye bye again............
I really hate this time............
Everytime also nid to suffer in this bad mood.........
mood of being seperate with u guys..........

I will never regret to meet u guys~
to know every of u~
but though, i will indeed blame this world......
blame it about why izzit everytime when we get along together very well,
and need to be seperated away...........

This world is cruel,
you will never know that who will always remember you...........
so will i be the one? be the one u guys will never forget..........

Thx for everyone tat taught me a lot................ah xin, ah wei, jing, datong, hann, sheng, ric, liang, jian woei, jj and a lot a lot a lot of u guys!!!!>< i will never forgot u all lor~~~~NEVER~~

So stay in contact lor><
will miss u guys very much~~especially the little ah xin ar~~haha~~
remember to find me~~XD

Muacks~~~!!!! luv u all!!!!><
CD09053!!!! LUV IT!!!!

*miss my dear so much T..T
although you was not here when i met problems...........
but i know u will always put it in heart........
although you always says that girl in USA are always beauty~ and every day say they r way too better than me~~
but i know~^^ thats not wat u really think~^^
haha~~^^
muacks~~luv u always o~~~^^

胆大的我？@@

2009-11-16T02:09:00.002+08:00

ish@@......本来应该在赶功课的我竟然在偷懒==……
好久没写了~哈哈~~突然心血来潮^^

明天有个烧烤会~中学同学举办的~XD
因为他们终于毕业了~要来个"最后一餐"~
然后星期四==又要和她们去4天毕业旅==
所以现在要把未来四天要教的功课一次过赶完==
我也真的是太冒险了==
很多final project== 都还没有作多过50%==

他们都说我很大胆==敢这么方认自己去参加这么多活动==
我也这么觉得==
不懂为什么就是有这种把功课抛下，出去玩的勇气……==
可能是因为觉得和中学朋友相聚比功课重要了那么1%吧~
毕竟他们毕业后，要找到他们，就不像以前那么容易了……
这一年里，当想念他们的时候，回去中学就能找到仍在读高三的他们~
现在他们毕业了~真的要各飞东西了咯~
要怎么找到他们叙旧呢？
所以还是把握机会和她们多相聚咯~
但是贪玩是要付出代价的==
今晚不用睡了咯~哈哈~

欣欣说我懒了==
好像有哦~但我觉得不是懒~是被其他东西分心了吧~
哈哈~我很容易分心的~XD
不过现在又在勤劳了拉~哈哈~

最近我们的圈子发生了好多东西呐~
很累很烦==都不想去理了~
感觉又回到去幼稚的中学一样~一大堆问题的~
唉~懒得去管咯~功课都来不及做了呢~
好啦~要去拼命了~哇咔咔咔咔咔~~
大家晚安咯~^^

好想你噢~~msn 不能时常上线==
都找不到你了><
唉~~千万别忘了我就好了~~~X3
take care hun~^^
luv u~~>3<

lately~

2009-10-12T20:55:00.003+08:00

phew~~ depressed depressed n depressed...........==
my paper sculpture haven start any of it n i m still here writing my blog== ish~~
i also dunno y~ just sudden feel like writing blog~~^^haha~

there is sum thing in our gang~~ sumthing tat i wouldnt know@@
sumone said if i use my heart to see, i will definitely find out.....
sumone said if i can go n observe things n expression within everyone, i can definitely find out.........
the conclusion is...........i find out nth==

its not really nth.......i wouldnt admit my observation r low...........but yet.....i can oni observe wat u guys show.........but for the things deep deep deep inside u guys..........i can feel nth==...........
maybe i know sumthing, but i really dunno izzit the thing u guys talking abt??@@
u guys think tat i m not the one who can keep secret, not becoz i dunwan to keep, is just tat i m too straight tat sumtimes i will excidentally spread out the secret........
lol..........

i dunno wats going on..........as long as it wouldnt effect me lor~ they say the truth will reveal soon~~ so i m waiting here~~
waiting for the truth~ waiting to see whether it is the one i thought..........

sumtimes i found sumthing, i wouldnt speak out, n also wouldnt ask anyone...........coz i can feel tat once i talk abt tat thing, everything's gonna change.........
so abt everything i tell u guys, means tat those r not very important things to me........
if its really effects me, i wouldnt tell, even a word.........
so izzit this the reason tat u guys think tat i wouldnt keep a secret? just becoz u guys dunno i have one??@@
blur blur.................==.......................
ish~~ dun think abt this jor lor~~ just waiting for the truth ba~~haha~~
dun let me wait too long~~really curious wats happen behind lerh><

ish>< my dear sick edi.............T..T poor little thing~~~
heart pain lerh><
take care in US ar~~ althought i m not there for u.........
but plss do be strong><
i m right here waiting for u><
muacks~~~>3<

Sharing session~^^

2009-09-23T01:38:00.002+08:00

lol~~ 1st talk abt the place we had gone to~^^
we went to full house, ikea, low yat, pavilion, n today we went klcc~~^^
ish~~spend lot n also being inspired alot~^^
if u ask me worth or not? the ans definitely is yes~~
its fun~~^^ but now nid to save a bit jor~~lol~~
cant continue using money like this liao@@~~bankrup jor lor!

this few days, my dad n mum started to scold me abt wat i did~
they say i m way too over tat always back home late n always went to friends house till late nite......
nonsence!!!><
i used to be like tat de lor><
b4 they say kl is too far from home so cannot......
but now i m in sunway lerh><
just near by my house!! duh!!!
parents always forget wat they promis n said>just becoz b4 they dun know........
then now when they know then oni come and boder this n tat........
hate it! erhhhhhh!!

saw sumthing interesting in tutor jen ting blog~~
here to share with u all lor~ coz i think is absolutely right!!

wat i nid to learn :

“别人教你赚钱，先看看他是不是已经成功的人”
“不要随便批评看低一个人，你不知道他以后也许会是个明日之星，可是因为你今天的一句话，他转行去卖炒果条了。　你害了他”

n wat i wan to tell u guys~~:

“画画先学基本的stroke,好像你走路要穿鞋一样”
“the one教你画的是入门，我们给你这样武器，你以后会用到的”

peace~~ =v=

“鼓励对每一个人就像燃料对于引擎那么重要”
“伸出你的手去援助别人，而不是伸出你的脚去绊倒他们。”

ish~~ lesser time to talk with dear liao><
he is very busy n me too><
so miss u nerh><
if oni u r here~
haha~~
luv u~~^^

New sem started

2009-09-10T00:36:00.002+08:00

phew~ a month later edi~~haha~ so long time din update here ler~
our sem break ends in a flash.....
when we start our sem break, we miss our schooling days;
when we ends our sem break, now we miss it again......
weird me~~weird us~~haha~

lots of things happens within this sem break~
datong n hann go back their hometown so tat they cant really join us too much~
keep hanging out with pui wei eric sikkina them~~^^
then also hanging out with secondary old friends~~

summore go skating~~haha~~^^wearing PEACE~
jing so funny~ he is like crab walking~XD
sikkina n eric n sheng n solame also cheating geh~ all skate b4 de~XD
peng n we ting learn so hard~haha~
ah wei n me keep skating fast fast~XD

the whole sem break are full of activities~~^^
tats me~ never stop~haha~
then the debt is never touched my home assignment n now prepare to die==......(tomoro is the pass up day, still haven start anything yet.....maybe tomoro morning ba......lazy me.....)

our class went to sunway lagoon also~~^^ fun~XD
class 4 also r there~~^^lol tired~~
then go steamboat seperately~coz too tired edi~dunwan go too far lerh~~
but yet still satisfied~~XD
although i have a big muscle pain after tat~haha~

the day b4 the school starts~ we went to eric house to give him a great surprise as his belated birthday present~^^
then we also visit wei n jing house~^^
haha~~we also go jaya jusco n have a walk~
keep laughing for the whole day~~fun~~
we play till really exhausted~ coz its the last day of our holiday~~^^

then now the school starts~
ish~~sudden realize tat i did nth for my holiday~~haha~bastard me~
i din clean up my room n clean up all the 1st sem assignment==......lol..........

jus now hav a chat with hann datong chris n simon~
ish~ i m stil not growing........upset.......
i thought i hav learnt sumthing but actually not.........
y m i always standing in the same place?
the samething keep happening around me........
once i thought i edi get rid of it~ then it comes over n over again==
everytime when i think i m success,
but then the facts tell u that its just a fake........
ish== then everytime when this thing keep recyclying.....==
i will just keep running away from it==
pretending its over edi......
haiz.......god........
when can i really really get rid of this kind of things?

i thought collegde is diff.........
at least at first, i really think that here r way too diff n better from my secondary school~
at least no nid to boder abt friends things coz we r all adult n we know wat we r doing.......
we wouldnt like wat i used to hav in collegde like childish thingy.........
but then y izzit changing?? such as datong says.........
erhhhhhhhh...............hate it..........
when can all this stupid thing stop bodering me........
they said no nid to care so much for those little problem.......
if oni i can do it........
theres records in my heart for everything u did...........no matter how u change......the records will always be there.........
so now who can help me to distroy all those records?
or who can teach me how to live without caring so much?
izzit bcoz i m a girl so tat i just couldnt see things in the way tat the boys did??
sudden feel like i m so ang geng==(hard neck~haha)
ish.....hope evrything will be better after a gud sleep...........nitez.....

dear moved away from his so call guardian's house edi~~^^
finally no nid being scold by them~^^
♥so miss u......><
u definitely will scold me if u know wat happens to me........==
haha~ i still couldnt learn wat u tell~~

hope things can be better la~~

Fake

2009-08-05T01:39:00.002+08:00

This world are so fake that full of freaking fake ppl......

Stresssssssssssssss is wat i can all say......
this few days are so stress n tired.....but i did nth actually><
doesnt feel to keep moving on with my assignment......
pop up must die liao de......
sumore got booklet nid to rush......
><
no reference liao lar>< draw so many for wat?! die oni......
lol~ this sem is too long liao~~~
i already reach the time which is so lame n without passion anymore.......
so sienz edi.....sommore no motive.......
who can charge me >>>>>> .'.
low battery liao lar.......everyday just sleep n internet.......didnt do homework for ages liao~~
help me............
SOS!!!

again miss u♥

Moody moody moody moody..........

2009-07-24T02:10:00.002+08:00

Today is a moody day.....it used to be gud as ussual......
but when figure class come......it started to change.......
why is everyone improving but i am not??
so useless.......
today is the 1st time tat my art work doesnt post on the board(?).......
people may think tat, aiyo, nvm de lar, just one time oni ma..........
but for me, its actually a heart attack........
n last week tat manequin i also score B- > B........
B-!!!!how does this happens??!
i thought tat my result can all in the average of B+ > B......but now got a B-.........

my creativity is low.......n the oni skill tat i am quite proud of is sketching figure............
but now i really doubt.......wat am i really gud at?
no creative, no skills anymore........
its oni a normal ppl after all....
some may think that B- is already very gud.......but u will never know the feeling when you drop from high to low........
the highest mark u get b4.......the deepest u will drop when u score a low marks...........
it really hurts.......feeling so sad n wan to cry edi...........
useless me.........
somemore now got lots of final project r waiting for us to done........
die lor........
really dun hav heart n strenght to do anything.........
no motive at all.........

couldnt contact my dear.......coz he is quite busy now in finding collegde........
in a vacation trip also.......
no way to spread my feelings..........>.<
erhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!just wan to cry all out!!!but cant><
ish...........useless me.........
the pop up prototype sucks.............

so embarass to drop ur face, dad.........so shame.........

so miss u ar................♥

......few minutes oni.....

2009-07-05T02:19:00.000+08:00

Few minutes can change the world......
Few minutes can change my feelings.......
sob sob......
is everything like this??
dun like it lor......
y sudden like argueing de......
Just now still very happy de.....then he on9 edi......of course i more happy de lar~
but y har.......y suddenly argue de......

i just like to share everything......y u dun like to listen?
like i am forcing u to listen.......
i thought u might be quite interesting to what happen to me like wat i feel too......
but y leh?
wats wrong??
or m i too stick on to u???
just wan to share things happen in me to u......then turn out like forcing u to listen things happen to me.......
then u r like no concern n not supportive at all......
sob sob.......

m i too bodering u?
nitez lor................

Time Square♥

2009-07-05T01:47:00.000+08:00

Today i go to do hair steaming with my mum~XD

now my hair r not that dry edi~~^^

Then go to time square with the LOMO gang~==

Chee han, datong n tik sheng lar~

They r damn funny~>w<

Keep helping ppl promote products==

made me buy things tat i dun really nid==......

lol~ but its nice indeed~^^

Get lots of inspire from tat flea market~(its actually not flea market== but i called it flea market~=p)

Then we go to sweet chat to hav our dinner~(its actually my lunch==......)

The food is okok oni~ Secret recipe de Mac & cheese r better~~>w<

Photo of 4 of us~ lol~ so ugly me==......

Today is US indepentdent day~~^^

Yesterday dear went to count down~^^

hope he is having fun lor~^^muahahaha~~

nitez everyone~♥♥

Gud day Gud nitez~^^

2009-07-04T01:57:00.000+08:00

So happy~^^
today no go out~ no go anyplace~ just stay at home~ peace~(>3<)v
Got a video talk with hun this morning (actually is noon== sleep till 1pm oni wake up~wkkk)muahahaha~ fully charged~^^

Then i finish my design 1 in a shortly day~^^
so satisfide~^^
still got finish art mock-up n figure drawing (4 head) left lor~
actually plan to sketch 6~10ppl de~
nid to train my own skill edi~
dad say practice more oni can sharpen my skill~
if not i wun learn anything==
like wat they say lor~ dun hav any improvement if keeping on like this~
so in order to improve~ practice is the best way~^^ muahahaha~
figure drawing is really fun`^^ like it~^^

Noa go take a fully sleep~^^ then tomoro will be another homework day lor~^^
nitez everyone~^^
♥gud nitez dear♥

Exhausted==

2009-07-01T00:47:00.000+08:00

lol~ Last minute r really bad==........sleep at 630am yesterday==(actually is day b4 yesterday, coz now is midnight edi =3=)
so tired today><......
go makan steamboat with family==........doesnt feel gud......
maybe the food r not bad, but eating with them r so tiring==.......
friends r better >.< can eat happily~^^
dint eat much lor~

Actually i should be sleeping now==......
but so miss him neh~ he din online today......=3=
dunno y......is there sumthing happens?
coz he says he had an arguement with his guardian in the time i went out to class.....
ask him wat happen he also dunwan tell.....== now make me very worry abt him==.......
scare if theres anything happen......

The design homework is going tougher n tougher==........
my creativity r so low >.< die lor......
my skill r the oni things i am proud of.......but i cannot too ego edi.......==
if not i will die hard lor==

The follower r so scary ar.......i so scare><
although i think he stop edi.......but still scare......
y this world full of these kind of weird ppl de ><
i so gang ar.......

What the hell out!!!

2009-06-22T02:13:00.000+08:00

Where on earth would a girl allowed/could stand her boyfriend to state tat he is engaged with somebody else??@@
Althought tats just a joke within friends......><
And now summore JOKES coming out from his friend saying he should be married with who who who n engaged with who who who n who who who luvs him........bla bla bla......
So what??!! its just a silly joke n damn it coz i CARE!!!><
I should be polite n just treat it as a joke><.......
.......

erhhhhh.......
Y is there sum ppl who can just did nth n acting like dunno nth....
n just sit there waiting for marks given?
Gek sei me edi><
The project should be done by everyone n it doesnt change just becoz ur history sucks><
Mine r sucks but at least i did sumthing......
Wat makes u think a word of "Dunno how to do" can let u run away from ur resposibility?
Dunno? then learn lar><
Do u know wat means initiative? or active??
Dun u dare to act like u know nth n just waiting others ppl to do for u><......
BLEH!~!!
What the hell is going on>
ERHHHHHH...........><

Home work==

2009-06-20T22:59:00.000+08:00

lots of homework to do neh~~~
all r driving me crazy>.<
The pengajian thing is the hardest==
coz my sejarah = GAGAL.......
haiz......

He is still in Atlanta there.......lol~ y he din bring his laptop leh?
dint see him online for few days liao><
so miss u neh~~
He will be back at tomoro~
hope can see him lar~♥
no power edi lor~~
faster come back n charge me lar~~T^T

Gambateh lor~
the 1st present must be well done~~><
cannot fail da~~
Hope can astonished everyone~@@.
wkkk~~~

Have a Nice Day lor~^^

Have a nice day~^^

2009-06-17T01:57:00.000+08:00

Today is great~~^^
Our masterpiece being post on the corridor~ Its so gud to see our hardwork being paid~~
wkkkk~~^^
Finally our efforts are worth~^^

Hope this can keep it on~~

Hubby r going to Atlanta soon....dunno whether can contact or not....haiz....
So miss u neh~~
Hope can share my hapiness with u nor~
Luv u♥

Fine day~^^

2009-06-13T21:13:00.000+08:00

Today is his exam day~ Wish him luck~^^

Suddenly realise tat everyone also will face the same problem like mine~
such as ah liang~ he argue with his girlfriend today~
when i heard it~ feel like," wow~ so familiar~@@" "
realise tat not only me got this kind of expierience~^^

I really appreciate me n my bf relationship~
although he is so far away from me~
but hope tat we could last to the end~^^
Be Happy nor~☺☻

Today is my homeworkday~^^
i hope i can finish the design 1~wkkkk~
Nex weekend there will be a job from me~ lol~
I think i am quite blur in the time i accept the job== coz i accept it><
haiz~ just cant resist ppl request~
but as long as i can do it~ i will do lor~^^

Hope evryone got a splendid day lor~^^

Dear♥
Wish u all the best ar~~^^

Fight....

2009-06-12T19:58:00.000+08:00

Today we almost hav a fight......
i am so sry to upset u.....i doesnt meant it......><
sorry my dear......

when the time i saw ur call, it really shocked me ==
but made me feel very happy~ coz u call!

sry to be tat unreasonable n busybody.........
i just wanted to share my feelings...... but dint think of wat u might think........

haiz.......y u like to say sienz at the end of everything?
y? does my word really made u sienz?
actually every time u say seinz, i will feel like my heart is so pain......

can u tell me wat u wan? or not i will just keep guessing n giving wrong expression or reply.......
everytime u say u r tired, u fail or u cant made it in ur exam, i really feel sad for u......
but i thought i should encourage u n support u....
so wat i can think to say is "add oil" "+u" "gambateh".......
i know it is useless......
but i really can help nth......i feel very useless n lossing my way.......
i thought i might give u happiness but it ends up with anger......
i really do pay my effort in it.......but wat i always get is just "plss dun say those things again, very sienz.....lazy to hear"
i dunno wat i did wrong......

the oni thing i thought of is........when i face the same think, i would luv to hear u say"take care, i will be there, dun give up, gambateh.....etc...."
all this really support me.......but y it doesnt work on u? i really dun understand.......
everytime when i face problem, i really wanted to hear some advise or even a little of comfort from u, n i will be happy after all for the whole day.......but y? y it doesnt work on u?
sometimes i will think tat izzit becoz u doesnt nid all this thing? or wat u doesnt nid.....is me?

Bad Mood....

2009-06-10T12:29:00.000+08:00

Y am i tat easily effected by u......

I dun wan to be like this, coz u would not wan me to be this sensitive or else it will cause u stressed......

I dunwan u to be stressed, coz u have enough from them........ i wan to be the one who can give u share...... hte one who is different from others......

not oni talk to u...but can share ur feelings...... n give u happyness when u can see me n talking to me......

But now, i really doubt........can i be the one?

I feel like everytime when u talk to me.......u doesnt really TALK, but just state....... U doesnt really shows ur feelings.......

Like when i am sad, i will find u n tell u wat happen, hoping to get comfort from u n i would just feel better.....n when i am happy, i am there to share my happiness with u n just hope tat u might happy n glad for me......

Do u feel the same too? if not.......then wat is the diferent of me n others?

Mood really effects our appetite......not feeling hungry anymore......no wonder i lose weight recently......

I really miss u.....but can i still stay strong waiting on u? coz problems do happens everytime.......

Tat i dunwan to give u stress, then made me hide a bit of my emotions, n sumtimes u would feel it also.........then finally......argue argue n argueing........

This is really NOT wat i wan......

I just nid a little bit care..... losing u really make me lose my way.......

Anything i can do is know u from wat u tell..........but u tell nth......

I feel like i am losing u u know?

New Live, New Start....

2009-06-10T00:06:00.000+08:00

There r too many things to follow on....
1st of all, I wan to gain weight.... n take care my self properly....
Stop thinking too much n just follow the way it should be....
Let go of everything, Things will be better....

Miss u♥
God bless me♥